Thoughts on Friendship

More than 2 weeks had passed since my last post and its because of my flooded scheds lol. I had so many activities to post and I have to do it now before September ends.

My last post was Sept. 14, about San Francisco Daycare Center blogsite and I’m still working for 3 more blogsite for my other clients and some ID projects on the side added by my online job deadlines, these made me wish to have more than 2 hands 🙂

My 3 precious days from September 15-17 has been wasted settling a financial dispute at CIDG (Criminal Investigation Detection Group. I filed a case against my “friend” who owe me a good some of money for more than 3 years now. It really saddens me that I need to bring this issue to this venue since she’s one of my close friend. Decades of friendship was trashed just because she betrayed my trust. Maybe one of the hardest lesson I had handling friendship. That money was allocated for the payment of my hub’s motorcycle but because of negligence on their part, that motorcycle was relinquished by the motorcycle dealer. That made our life harder since we cannot go far and have to turn down clients from far flung areas. One of the reason why we are struggling now, thanks God I am blessed with some work online so we can survive our daily need.

She used to be the first person that I put my trust since I set my foot in Tarlac. We had good times together but I may say that from the very first time we met, that friendship has always been a one way street but I never noticed it then.

She used to borrow money from me for their farming needs and I need to go on sleepless nights solving her sibling’s projects and assignments. I still remember a day that I saw his brother, the one who owe me the money, He was standing at the gate waiting for his interview result at IWSPC. I managed to ask the guard on duty to allow him to go inside the canteen so I can help him have his lunch. That’s how I accommodated her family. You know why I can’t forget that incident? Because my hub (my boyfriend during that time) seen us eating and talking at the canteen and I learned from his bestfriend’s (bong) niece, Gigi that he was so mad confiding to his uncle Bong that he saw me with a guy. He thought I was still entertaining suitors! My God, lol! Inside the company premises? At the canteen in broad daylight 🙂

Well, those were my younger years. I may say that I managed to show her and her family how I love and trust them. In fact I treated them as my second home in Tarlac. I even help her father work in a good contract with one of my friend when she asked me to help her look for group of people to build her house, and of course, instead of giving it to Manoy Guito, I recommended her father. I’ve lost count on how I managed to show her that I’m always there for her and her family til one day after my retirement that her brother borrowed a big sum of money. With a promise that he will return it after a month. I was an idiot that  I gave my full trust and gave him my retirement pay and alas! 3 years had passed and they never settled it. I was forced to take the necessary steps to elevate the matter. That’s a big lesson for me.  My kids have the right to that money and I just gave it to strangers? That’s from my retirement pay and it’s too late to know that we cannot really trust people as far a money is concerned. Friendship must have its limitations… I learned it the hard way.

Seeing her at CIDG office, I feel I am looking to a total stranger. No sign of gratitude. No sign of friendship. I wonder why I cannot feel anything but anger. Where did my love for her goes? I don’t know… But one thing is clear to me now, it will take sometime on my part to forgive her. Maybe if I am still single, it will be different. Seeing my kids deprived from some of their needs because the money was never returned on time made the issue more complicated. The effect of that negligence is so crucial and my kids had suffered because of my irresponsible decisions. Thanks God my hub didn’t take it against me.

Now I am very cautious because of that experience. It’s really true that years of experiences made us wiser and tougher. I am grateful I still have one precious friend left… Liza. She’s a friend, sister and comrade rolled in one. One of my best trophy joining a union struggle. I met her. I may say that our friendship is never a one way street. She’s the kind of friend that can hear your woes even in a complete silence… who would always give up her activities just to listen to me when I need her. She’s always my first visitor at the hospital if I am sick or delivering my babies, the first person I always turn to if I am far away and I got to have someone to fetch my kids, or if they need money and I am not there but Liz is always on the rescue. Liz has been with us, see us in our worst and it’s good to know that you have a friend who will pat your back with a tearful look and reassuring embrace and will whisper in your ear: “don’t worry, things will change eventually… and hey! We’ll celebrate okay”.

January 11, 2021 update for this post…. I just ended my friendship with Liza.